I Blame Nikki...

I swear, its her fault. Really. I swear. 


We've started a new routine: she takes 4ft to school (she drives right by my house) with her daughter and then comes back and we workout together. We play Wii Sports or we do Zumba. We laugh a lot and have a lot of fun and it doesn't feel like working out.


Yesterday she says, "Hey, I have this cool Pussy Cat Dolls Burlesque workout video, wanna try it?"


I stupidly say, "Sure. Should be fun." 


I should have keyed in on her evil snicker but I thought maybe I'd imagined it. I didn't. 


I. Can. Barely. Move. Today.


Don't get me wrong, dancing like a hoochie is seriously F-U-N. And we laughed and danced like epileptic albino freaks having seizures but today my legs are trying to put a hit out on me to put them out of their misery. I try to tell them it's her fault, she made me do it, but they won't listen. 


At least she was suffering as much as I was AND she had to climb my stairs. 


HA! 


Payback! 

Horrible Movie Monday - Double Trouble

Muscle bound twins try to smash a jewel smuggling ring.

*snort* Need I say more? No, you say? Oh but yes, I do! Except for I don't even know where to begin.

Let's start with who was in it I guess. Peter and David Paul (the Barbarian Twins), Roddy McDowall (Nunan's favorite pitcher for the LA Dodgers back in the 90's *snicker*), a bunch of nobodies I've never heard of, and a cameo from David Carradine. Best part: the Barbarian Twins used their own first names for the movie -- I guess it was too taxing to remember their character names and their lines!

The costumes were a definite favorite of mine. The clothes for the cop, David Paul, was my absolute favorite (He's the one wearing the too tight, mid-drift baring sweatshirt and high-waist jeans). At one point in the movie the fashionable suit wearing Peter makes David wear a suit to go to a fancy french restaurant (implying Peter is fluent in french) to stake out the big bad guy of the jewel smuggling ring, Roddy McDowall (ridiculous, right?), and David whines about wearing a suit the whole time and walks like he's wearing a "safe suit" (you know the padded suits you wear while training attack dogs).

(if you care - be warned there are spoilers)

So basically the plot is this: Peter, a jewel thief, breaks into Roddy McDowall's diamond company (where he launders money) and steals a bunch of diamonds and a metal card (about the size of a credit card). While spray painting a cat face on the wall, he calls the police to report a burglary, and don't you know his brother, David, shows up (wearing his awesome outfit) and his partner (dressed up like a hooker -- pretty sure it was her "look" and not cuz she was undercover).

The brothers meet up on the roof (the partner isn't there because the elevator was out and she didn't want to climb the stairs. awesome right?) and jokester Peter starts messing with oh-so-serious-all-the-time David and then gets away after David wings him in the arm AFTER emptying an entire gun clip. I swear no one could hit ANYTHING in the entire movie unless it was point blank and sometimes not even then. David's partner gets killed (point blank shot to the head) because after their "trying night" she sends David off to workout, which he does and yes we get to watch it, while she goes to a construction site at night (dressed like a hooker with platform heels) to meet up with some guy she'd busted who has information about someone and something and yes David KNEW she was going and still went off to bench press weights.

Roddy starts ordering people killed and to find the burglar who stole his metal card deal which was conveniently caught on the security camera Peter mugged for. David finally catches Peter at another jewelry crime scene and throws him in jail. Peter makes a deal to help the police catch Roddy (cuz don't you know they can't pin anything on him but they know it's him) and they make him David's partner. Peter tries to escape a lot. David is bitter that he has to watch Peter when he wants to catch his partners killer. It ends up being Roddy (shocker, right?) and then they catch and kill Roddy in the end.

David Carradine's cameo was a crime. Guess that's why he was locked in jail. *snicker* I crack myself up. He was Peter's mentor and knew what the metal card was (a safe key) and to which safe (a major diamond exchange depository), and said it would take a construction crew all night to break through that if someone got stuck inside it which connected all the dots for Peter as to what was going on. I swear Peter did more cop work than David did.

Best parts of the movie:

The continuity:

The brothers get in a fight and roll down a flight of stairs. While rolling down the stairs David is suddenly wearing a gray shirt tucked into his too-tight pants that he wasn't wearing before or after that scene.

Same fight. They start punching the hell out of each other but there is no blood or damage and later David gets hit with the butt of a gun ONCE and he's bleeding from his nose and mouth (I kid you not the brothers were wailing on each other way worse than the hit with the gun).

Later on in another fight, the brothers (not fighting each other for once but the bad guys) are fighting on a construction site and they are rolling around in the dirt - when the fight is over and they leave the scene victorious they are impeccably clean.

and

The one-liners:

The brothers are driving in David's crappy beat up jalopy of a car and Peter hollers out in mock terror, "The G forces are killing me!"

While they're both dressed in suits David goes into a private health club, security tells him its a members only club, David flashes his badge and the security guard lets him through. Peter goes in, walks up to the security guard, and says, "Excuse me, did I just come through here?" The guard nods and Peter walks right in. As they're leaving, David walks through first and out the door past security then Peter walks past and stops and asks, "Excuse me, which way did I go?" And the security guard points to the exit.

Double Trouble was straight up horrible movie cheese and we loved to loathe every minute of it. The husband and I cheered and booed, laughed and cried (the movie was painful after all), and were relieved when it was over. It will go down as another memorable movie in our Monday night tradition. Thank you Barbarian Twins for being so horribly awesome.

Adventures in Shopping

(Note: Zero Bunny Shapes silicone baking sheets were found or harmed in the following tale.)

Guess what?!

I GOT A NEW CAMERA! I've been talking forever about how I wanted/needed (okay more want than need but we won't tell the Husband that) a new camera. I'd been lusting over the Nikon Coolpix L110 forever. And just when it came down to a price I could live with paying (you know, not keeling over from a heart attack and having my plastic melt on contact) they came out with a L120. Naturally I liked it BETTER.

So... I watched my camera from afar, knowing someday, someday it would be mine. Every time we went into a store with an electronics department that had MY camera on display I would play with it and take pictures of my kids - dream it was mine - and then erase them and move on. Well the other day the Husband was looking through a Costco coupon book and low and behold MY camera was $90 off. Hallelujah! I went and bought it this weekend.

But as with everything I do it can't be that uneventful.

Naturally I had to play with the display model for a minute (it was still a chunk of change and I wanted to make sure it was the one I really wanted. Okay let's be honest, I was going to buy the sucker anyway but it was going to be awhile before I got home so I wanted to play with it while knowing oh yes it would be mine, oh yes). This guy walks up and is waiting his turn and he starts talking to me. (I don't know why people start talking to me in stores -- it happens every. single. time.)

I finish up with the camera and hand it to him and he starts asking me questions about it. Dude, I don't know technical stuff. I don't know how it w

orks or what buttons do what. I just know when I point at my kids and click they turn out super cute in the view finder. That's all I need to know (pretty much I have the Husband to make sure it's actually a good quality camera well that and Nikon is a pretty good brand). I have more shopping to do before we have to pick 4ft up from karate but I don't want to be rude so I'm trying to end the conversation and edge away.

He finds my kryptonite and starts talking about how cute my kids are while taking pictures of them with the camera. Now I'm stuck. One, I love talking about how cute my kids are (what parent doesn't?) and two, he's taking pictures of my kids like a creeper with a store display camera. So, I have to stay and converse with him t

o make sure that the pictures get deleted (I don't know if anyone else would think it was a big deal but I don't want pictures of my kids on a display camera where some OTHER creeper can be looking at them - Anytime I post pictures of my kids, they're nicknamed and private only my friends can see them. So I believe anyways).

Sure enough he takes a ton of pictures and even some video of my kids and then decides he wants a smaller camera and walks away without deleting anything. Grrr face. I pick up the camera and delete all the pictures and then ha

ve to race around Costco to get the rest of my shopping list. But...

SCORE! I got the camera. And yesterday's food montage is brought to you buy my fancy, sparkling, awesome Nikon Coolpix L120.

Food Montage 4/11/12

Yep, you see right. I ate Burger King tots and a Diet Coke for breakfast. Today is still a win because normally on Wednesdays (We go every Wednesday to hang out with our Nikki) I would've gotten a meal for both Grumpybutt and I, I would've horked down my meal and then I would've helped him eat his (he NEVER finishes anything). Today we split a meal. He ate the sandwich (if you can call taking three bites eating it) and half the tots and I ate the other half and drank a Diet Coke. I wrapped up the sandwich and brought it home instead of eating it (4ft likes to take them for lunch sometimes even if it has a couple little nibbles out of it).

That's one HUGE thing I have to work on. I hate wasting food. Hate it. So if the kids don't finish their food I feel compelled to eat it and then it feels compelled to go straight to my hips, butt, gut... whatever. I have to chant in my head it's okay to throw it away if you're full or save it for later to either eat or throw away. Hooray for today's success.

New rule of thumb: Eat when you're hungry stop when you're full. Sounds so simple really but I struggle with implementation. So this is the first hurdle I have to tackle for healthy living -- Bored Eating, Waste Eating, and Nonstop Eating are super UNhealthy. It's not what I eat but how much of it that's the problem.

Little Rabbit No Arms

(sung to the tune of Little Bunny Foo Foo)

Little Rabbit With Arms,

Hopping through the jungle,

Stepping on a land mine,

And losing both his arms.

Down came the good fairy and she said...

"Little Rabbit No Arms you're an idiot for hopping through the jungle to begin with and you deserve to be eaten..."

I made this little crochet animal for my sister, Kelsey, for Easter. Purple is her favorite color and rabbits are like her most favoritest thing ever (like ridiculously so. seriously).

Naturally, I decided to make it for her three days before Easter -- which under normal circumstances would've been enough time to finish it. However, I didn't take into account dying Easter Eggs, cooking Easter Dinner side dishes and desserts, and sheer exhaustion from trying to get everything done in time. Needless to say I didn't finish it and she got to watch me do the finishing touches on Easter.

In retrospect I should've taken the time to give it arms (one of the main reasons I didn't was because I wanted to be able to give it to her before I had to leave). In person it looked cute without the arms but looking at the pictures it just looks creepy. I think I'll crochet some arms and make her bring Little Rabbit No Arms with her next time I see her so I can fix it.

Food Montage 4/10/12

I'm experimenting with how I want to keep track of the food I ingest. I thought a Food Montage would be more fun for me to do and, for those who are interested, to look at than just writing everything down. It's more fun to look at food than to read about it. I'm especially proud of my deconstructed Tuna Salad and banana slices I had for lunch today. (Deconstructed. Look at my culinary vocabulary. Yes I got it from watching food porn... er.. I mean.. the Food Network)

I don't have a starting weight because my scale's battery died and I can't find my tape measure to get starting measurements -- but since I'm not dieting, I'm living healthy, I think I won't replace the battery because trying to attach a weight to that can be stressful. Plus I'm such a scale slut, I can't ever stay off it and fret over every pound not lost. However, I'm putting aside a pair of pants I wear now to show where I've been and how far I've come (well when I get there, that is).

Bunny-Shaped Silicone Baking Pan

I love the day after Easter. Actually, I love the day after every holiday because that's when Target marks everything down 50%! Hooray for clearance -- things I can live without for full price suddenly become necessary for my continued breathing at half price (and don't even get me started when things are 70 - 90& off).

I went to Target yesterday for a particular bunny-shaped silicone baking pan. I'd been eyeing it since February when they put out the Easter stuff. I don't know how many times I picked that bad boy up and then put it back thinking, "I can wait til clearance. I can wait til clearance." It became my Target mantra. So I went back, headed straight to the Easter baker aisle and...

couldn't find it.

I scoured the aisle and it was no where to be found. A woman with her daughter walked down the aisle and made idle conversation about how adorable Snugglebear was and how I was in for a whole new level of "fun" with having a daughter. She shared "encouraging" stories about meltdowns over dresses and shoes. I laughed like I was supposed to and moved on. We bumped into each other again at the price scanner. I'd found a couple of other pans, that while cool, were NOT the pan I'd come for. She, however, was scanning a bunny-shaped silicon baking sheet!

Wait, it gets better.

So, I ask, "Where did you find that?" She points vaguely in the direction I'd come from and then promptly tells me, "But it was the last one."

Wait for it... gets even better.

I make crunch face and good naturedly whine about how that pan was the only reason why I'd come to Target. She holds the pan out and says, "I'm on the fence about it. You really wanted it, go ahead."

Nope. Not Done. Gets. Even. Better.

"Are you sure?" I asked. She put it in my cart while saying, "Yeah, I probably won't even use it."

Did I leave with the pan?

No. I did not.

She started talking to me again, this time about donut makers and other various cooking gadgets. Then she said, "You know, I feel like an Indian-giver but I really want the pan back. I think I will use it after all." And before I could stage a protest she snagged it back out of my cart.

Possession is 9/10 of the law and at that point what could I say? She had found it fair and square and just because she was THE DEVIL and let me think for ONE minute it was mine only to RIP it from my grasp didn't mean I could punch her in the face and run with it. Not that the thought hadn't crossed my mind but I had Snugglebear and my cart veered to the left when I pushed it. No telling what would've happen if I'd have tried to make a break for it and the pan wasn't worth the risk of Snugglebear (almost, but not quite -- it was a pretty awesome pan).

So I bought the other two pans I'd found. One that makes little square cakes (the batter amount of a cupcake -- they're so cute) and a donut pan (which I almost didn't get because it's what lost me the bunny-shaped silicone -- that damn pan was what prompted the next round of conversation). And being the freak that I am, I had to try both of them out yesterday.

I made glazed vanilla cake donuts and square-cake banana bread. Then to round it off I made banana-nut biscotti (I had a small mountain of bananas rotting on my counter). So the Husband will be beloved by his fellow employees because I sent it to work with him today.

Wouldn't bunnies have made this so much cuter?

Easter 2012

This year we went to my mom's house for Easter. 4ft was worried about it (normally we do Easter at ours) until I explained that the Easter Bunny was all-knowing and that he knew we were going to be at Nana's and would hide our eggs and bring our Easter baskets there. He was reassured but now the husband and I had to figure out how to get the stuff to my mom's under the watchful all-seeing eyes of the 7-year-old. We wrapped it all up in the "picnic blanket" the ginormous old comforter we use to have carpet picnics and when 4ft asked why were taking it, I was quick on my feet, and said, "Because we're having a picnic at Nana's for late lunch/early dinner!" (hooray for fast thinking and it wasn't lying because we did in fact have a picnic.)

The Easter Bunny was particularly good to the kids this year:

In order of appearance: 4ft, Grumpybutt, Snugglebear

Then we went egg-hunting. We had to keep reminding 4ft the eggs in the grass that took no effort at all to find were for his brother and he had to find the harder ones.

And after we made sure that we had in fact found all the eggs the boys spent the rest of the afternoon playing their DS's in a tent in my mom's backyard. (The Grumpybutt inherited 4ft's old DS when 4ft bought his 3DS after saving up his allowance for three and a half months.)

We had delicious barbecue ribs, chicken, and hot dogs along with potato salad and deviled eggs. Then we munched on cupcakes and had blueberry pie with ice cream. I ate some of everything without guilt but now it's time to get my body back after having Snugglebear. I'm officially off the "take it easy" list and shall be working toward getting back in shape.

Wish me luck.

Cupcakes and Easter Eggs

So in a whirlwind of activity yesterday I made my weight in potato salad (okay maybe I'm exaggerating a little bit but I used a whole 5lb bag of potatoes and it nearly overfilled the biggest bowl I owned), lemon curd filling, Italian Meringue Buttercream, and lemon scented cupcakes for my Lemon Meringue Cupcakes. They turned out crazy delicious (of course the Husband and I shared one last night to make sure I wasn't going to poison anyone today).

Look! Frosting Sharks! (Can anyone guess what movie I'm parodying? There might be a prize in it for you if you're right.) I'm so totally proud of my fancy looking cupcakes with their candied lemon garnish. The picture doesn't do them justice because you can't taste the picture.

The boys and I also dyed Easter Eggs. I'd spent a little extra money on "Spin an Egg" egg decorating bowls in hopes to minimize the mess. I'd bought two so the boys wouldn't fight over the "cool" gadget. They worked beautifully and the best part is that I was able to save half the dye and half the glitter and I'll be able to use the bowls again next year. So, you know, total win.

The Grumpybutt was so cute using the "Spin Bowl". He'd put in an egg, I'd drop some dye on it, he'd push the button once -- barely spreading the dye and then start asking for another egg. So 4ft went back later when the Grumpybutt got bored of the new game and added more dye to them. Which was fine because the Grumpybutt blew through a lot of eggs pretty fast and 4ft didn't get to do as many the first go around.

Speaking of 4ft he made some UGLY eggs while experimenting with color. He'd put a bunch of different dye drops in there (purple and yellow together are particularly heinous -- I knew that already but he had to see for himself -- it was all very scientific), spin the egg, pull it out, and say, "Look at how ugly this egg is, Mom."

He was very proud. So we dumped a lot of glitter on them and when they dried they didn't look as bad. He just knows the Easter Bunny will be impressed. He's already decided which ones he's going to find and which ones his brother can find. We'll see.

Happy Easter!

Day 5 of Spring Break

My parents and I took the kids to San Francisco yesterday for the last day of spring break -- the weekend doesn't count he always has weekends off.

First, we went to Fisherman's Wharf and Pier 39 and had lunch at Bubba Gump's. It was crazy busy (we were hoping it being a weekday it wouldn't be but then we remembered it was spring break and it was "weekend busy") but it was worth the wait because it was delicious. And I actually got to enjoy lunch because the boys liked looking out of the windows at the ocean, boats, seagulls, and the occasional seal frolicking in the water and the Snugglebear was enthralled by all the noise and people. Of course the picky eater Grumpybutt just ate french fries for lunch but 4ft ordered fish 'n' chips and actually ate it. All of it. I was very proud.

Then we walked around the Wharf and headed towards Ghiradelli Square. We had to stop and look at the Wax Museum and the Ripley's Believe It or Not! store fronts because the Grumpybutt was fascinated with them. We also had to stop in and walk around every candy store we passed because 4ft was fascinated by them.

By the time we made it to Ghiradelli Square, which with three kids in tow is quite the walk, we stopped off and got sundaes from the Ghiradelli Ice Cream Shoppe. 4ft and I split a vanilla ice cream sundae with hot fudge and butterscotch and the Grumpybutt had a "scoop" of vanilla. I put "scoop" in quotes because it was a freaking GOBLET filled with vanilla ice cream. To his credit, Grumpybutt practically finished it without spilling too much down his front or dripping too much in his hair -- so that was a win.

After we got cleaned up (I swear the Grumpybutt got more ice cream on me than he did himself), we played outside by the fountain. Here are the boys sitting in front of it. Notice the Grumpybutt trying to throw up the "devil horns" too? Anything 4ft does the Grumpybutt has to do too.

And then for the funnest part of the trip: The drive home from San Francisco at 5pm during rush hour. Woot! Thank goodness for my Kindle Fire and the Nintendo DS's to keep the kids entertained while we moved along at a snail's pace.

Candied Lemons

Sometime ago, I don't remember when, we went to Olive Garden to celebrate something, I don't remember what (I'm tired, it's early, I'm old, give me a break!), and I got a Limoncello Mousse Dolcini for dessert. The mousse was alright nothing really to brag home about but the candied lemon garnish on the top of it was AWESOME. So awesome I had to circle it like a lioness guarding her kill from a pack of hyenas (it was all very Lion King, I swear and yes I'm likening my family to hyenas -- if you knew them, you'd agree).

Fast forward to earlier this week (probably Tuesday but I could be lying and really the day of the week doesn't have anything to do with the story so it doesn't really matter), I was trying to figure out what dessert I was going to take to the 'rents (*snicker* 'rents -- I'm so street) for Easter. My husband's favorite dessert is anything with lemon in it so I thought I'd make Lemon Meringue Cupcakes for him (nevermind the whole family likes desserts with lemon -- remember the hyena comment from earlier-- I swear I'm making them for him and I'm sticking to that story).

Then I thought how cute and awesome would it be if I could figure out how to make the candied lemon garnish to put on top of the Meringue Buttercream Frosting. So... I did. They're in whole slices now but I'm going to cut them up and do some cute design with them, maybe flowers or something.

That is if I can keep the vulture (my husband) -- he's already circling -- from descending upon them.

The recipe is insanely easy:

Ingredients

1 cup water

2 cups sugar

3 lemons, sliced thin

(the 1, 2, 3 of the the ingredients wasn't intentional but I'm totally geeking out on how cool it is)

Directions

1.) Clean the lemons -- scrub the skins really well (you're going to eat them) -- and then slice thinly. I used my nifty mandolin. If you don't have one try to make them as uniform as possible and no more than 1/4" thick.

2.) Bring a large pot of water to a roiling boil and prepare an ice bath for blanching the lemon slices. Boil them for 1-2 minutes and then submerge them immediately in the ice bath.

3.) Combine 1 cup water and 2 cups sugar in a wide skillet or saucepan on medium heat. Heat until the sugar is completely dissolved and the mixture looks clear.

4.) Bring the sugar mixture up to a rapid simmer and then add the lemon slices in a single layer. Turn the heat down to medium low and simmer for an hour.

5.) Spray a wire rack with nonstick spray and gently remove lemon slices from the syrup and place on the rack. Leave them on the counter to drain and dry for at least 12 hours

6.) Roll the rind in sugar (I used yellow) and let set another 12 hours to be completely set.

I love how they look. Like little stained glass fruit. You can do this with any citrus fruit. I think next time I'll do lime slices. My husband says that he's glad the recipe is easy because I can expect to be making these a lot for him to just eat because garnishes are girly.

100 Grand Truffles

As promised the recipe for the 100 Grand Truffles complete with pictures.

Don't they look delicious? Believe me, they are. I'm the one who took the bite, snapped the picture, and then quickly devoured the rest of the square.

Caramel

• 1 ¼ cup brown sugar
• 1 2/3 cup white sugar
• ½ tsp kosher salt
• 1 cup butter
• 1/2 cup corn syrup
• 1 ¼ cup heavy cream
• ¾ cup whole milk
• 1 tsp vanilla extract
• 1 tsp vanilla bean paste

1. Combine all ingredients in a large saucepan over medium heat; stirring occasionally until candy thermometer reads “soft ball” or when you drip a glob of candy in cold water and it doesn't dissolve in the water
2. Line container (size dependent on desired thickness) with parchment paper and cooking spray
3. Pour into tray and let cool completely
4. Spray knife with cooking spray and cut caramels
5. Dip in chocolate, sprinkle with coarse salt (optional), and serve.

OR

1. Pour prepared caramel (as above) over a layer of Rice Crispies on the parchment paper (2 cups Rice Crispies)
2. Let cool, cut with a prepared knife, and dip in chocolate.

An update from yesterday:

The Grumpybutt didn't throw the hysterics at being dressed up like I thought he would. He wasn't happy but he was easily distracted and then completely forgot he was wearing something he didn't like. After the pictures, however, when I asked him if he wanted to change his clothes, he didn't dignify me with a response and started stripping right there in the lobby of Picture People. So Day 3 of Spring Break wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be.

As to what we're up to on Day 4: We're all still in our jammies (yes, it's 12:15. what's your point?) and I'm getting ready to make lunch. I've been busy though you wouldn't know it by my slothful appearance. So far I've dipped all 46 squares of caramel into chocolate, hard boiled 24 eggs so we can dye them for the Easter Bunny, did some webdesign coding for my day job, and 3 loads of laundry. Yes, I lead a glamorous life. I know you're all green with envy. Who wouldn't be?

At some point I'll get in the shower...

Maybe.

Day 3 of Spring Break

I'm a glutton for punishment.

Yesterday I took the kids to get haircuts. Now you wouldn't think this is a big deal and for 4ft it isn't -- he loves LOVES to get his hair cut. The Grumpybutt does not and to say he hates it isn't a strong enough word to describe the loathing he has for the whole process. I even pay more to take them to a kid specialty salon and still he acts like every strand of hair that is cut is a painful and personal affront to his person.

He goes limp. He screams. He cries. He whimpers. And the whole time he tries to burrow into me as I try to keep the hair from getting in his mouth while murmuring words of encouragement and trying not to show how embarrassed I am that he's acting like the hair stylist is cutting him.

I swore the last time I'd never do it again without the Husband there to stand with him while I pretended he was someone else's child. (Does that make me a bad person? Oh well.) It's exhausting to get his hair done. But there I found myself, alone, with three kids, walking into the hair salon.

Fun times. Never again. I know I've said it before but I mean it this time.

Now today against my better judgement I'm taking all three kids, by myself (I'm hoping my mom descends upon me like an avenging angel and goes with me) to get an Easter picture done. Again, 4ft I'm not worried about. He canNOT wait to get on his little Easter suit (that he insisted on getting, don't look at me like that) and cheese for the camera. The Snugglebear will look adorable in her Easter finest and say nary a word (since she can't talk) and will easily get her picture taken (I hope). However, in a fit of madness I got the Grumpybutt a matching Easter suit which I shall be wrestling onto his protesting person and pray to the gods of photography that I get at least ONE picture where his demon nature isn't showing.

What was I thinking?

Fell On Dark Days

Could we have a moment of silence please... *sob*

I'm in mourning. I've heard terrible tragedies happen in threes and to this I can attest. What did I do to have such horrors visited upon me? I'm nice, okay not so much. I'm a good person, well good enough anyway. I've a kind word for everyone, well maybe that's a downright lie. But still I didn't deserve this. No one does!

Tragedy #1

I was melting chocolate last night to dip my caramel rice krispy balls in. I have two, yes two, Wilton chocolate melters but did I use them last night? No. For big jobs I use the double boiler method. So I had my saucepan gently boiling with one of my favorite heavy glass mixing bolls set on it and I was stirring my nearly perfectly melted satiny chocolate when...

CRACK!!!

My bowl broke. *sob* One of my favorite mixing bowls has gone to the great bowl home in the sky. And to add insult to injury the steam from the pan seeped through the cracks and completely ruined my chocolate. Seized it and turned it from silk to paste in seconds.

Tragedy #2

IT WAS MY LAST BAG OF CHOCOLATE! So I don't have any finished 100 Grand Truffles to show you because they're NOT DONE! Oh the heartbreak.

Tragedy #3

Last night was Horrible Movie Night Monday. Well my friends, I'm also mourning the hour and a half of my life I will never get back. We watched John Carpenter's "They Live". Three words: Rowdy. Roddy. Piper. Can I get an amen from the 80's wrestling fans out there?

With a tagline of: "A drifter discovers a pair of sunglasses that allow him to wake up to the fact that aliens have taken over the Earth." and that the same guy did "The Thing" how could we go wrong? Oh man, I think last weeks gem "Double Dragon" was BETTER if you can believe that.

Let me share some of my pain:

Nada (yes Rowdy Roddy Piper's name in the movie was Nada): Life's a bitch...and she's back in heat.

Nada: You see, I take these glasses off, she looks like a regular person, doesn't she? Put 'em back on... (puts them on) Formaldehyde-face!

Nada: (after disarming a human cop) Beat yer feet.

Nada: I have come here to chew bubblegum and kick ass... and I'm all out of bubblegum.

The first half of the movie Rowdy Roddy barely talks and when he starts talking you understand why. The man cannot deliver a line to save his life and his acting isn't much better. The first 1/2 hour of the movie is him wandering around a city. The best part of the movie was when Meg Foster (a woman he kidnaps and she drives him to her HOME) hits Rowdy in the back of the head with a wine bottle breaking it on his dome and then pushing him through a closed sliding glass door window with enough force for him to break through it. Then watching him careen down the side of a mountain and get up with barely a scratch and stumble (unconvincingly, I might add) away.

This movie could've been condensed into a half an hour and not lost any of it's cheese, horridness, or story. But it did it's job and kept the horrible streak going for our Monday night entertainment. So I guess I should be thankful.

I'm buying more chocolate today. Hopefully barring any other disasters I will have pictures to post with the recipe tomorrow.

Spring Cleaning

Wow, it's dusty on here. *cough sputter hack* Welcome to the Grand Re-Opening. Yeah I know there are no balloons, face painting, or even coupons. I'm cheap. What can I say?

Welcome back.

Today is the first day of Spring Break and to kick off the vacation 4ft requested a pajama day. To which I responded with an exuberant resounding hells to the yeah.

4ft watching Wolverine and the X-Men on his 3DS and The Grumpybutt watching Yo Gabba Gabba on "the big TV".

I also took advantage of a relaxing day and made my own version of a 100 Grand candy bar. I got the idea from The Restless Chipotle and then tweaked it to make it my own. Tomorrow I'll be posting pictures along with the recipe.

Well I have to bounce and start dinner for my ultra-picky family. Tonight's meal is: Spaghetti and Meatballs. 4ft won't eat meat sauce anymore since he horked up an overindulgence of spaghetti a couple of years ago and the Grumpybutt won't eat spaghetti without meat. So 4ft gives his meatballs to the Grumpybutt and everyone's happy... Well except for the Husband who likes the old way better. Can you tell where he rates on the totem pole?