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Wednesday, August 22, 2012

Stress Eating

I'm an emotional eater. Have always been which is a disastrous cycle of eating because you're depressed/stressed/whatever and then being depressed/stressed/whatever because you're eating. It's vicious and unhealthy and it's my number one offender that I have to work on.

I had a pretty craptastic day yesterday. So much so that I wanted to shovel food in my mouth A LOT of food -- anything chocolate, fattening, sugary, greasy, all things NOT good for me. I found myself staring at the Grumpybutt's leftover Cookie Crisp from that morning (he doesn't eat them in milk so I guess it's better that I didn't have this battle over soggy cereal, right?). You know the cartoons where you have an angel on one shoulder and the devil on the other? I swear I had that moment with myself. Eat it. Don't eat it. Eat it. Don't eat it. You're stressed, the day sucks, you can eat it. It'll make you feel better. No, don't eat it. You'll loathe yourself for it. You're doing so good don't let the stress win. I stood there in a "wanting to binge eat" daze battling myself over that stupid bowl of half eaten cereal. Pathetic right?

I picked up the bowl, forced myself to walk to the garbage, and threw it away. It was empowering and depressing all at the same time. Weird, right? Then I gulped down some water and got the heck out of the kitchen. I grabbed the Grumpybutt and tickled the snot out of him -- he has the most infectious laugh -- and then felt better.

Bad days would be easier if I didn't keep treats in the house, but I'm the one with food issues, not my family, and why should they give up the occasional treat because I have self-control/willpower issues? Plus I don't live in a sterile bubble -- I go out in the world and go past fast food places, bakeries, and ice cream shops so in the long run it's better to have the stuff around because I'm the one that needs to change. Stuff is always going to be around, you know?

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