Thursday, September 5, 2013

Chocolate Penance

After a month and a half of controlling my emotional eating urges I completely caved last night. I had a pisser of an afternoon yesterday and it was either kill someone or eat the two two-bite candy bars I found on my desk. In retrospect someone should've just died instead but it is what it is. Then I hid the wrappers like I'd committed a crime and swore myself to secrecy or someone was going to get hurt.

I had no intentions of telling anyone what I'd done...

Then I thought, "Eff that! It was four bites of chocolate not a all-out binge fest at a chocolate fountain with swimming involved. I mean seriously." So as soon as the Husband walked in the door I told on myself. I ate four bites of chocolate. To which his response was, "Um.. okay?"

So instead of drowning in a shame spiral, I manned up. I ate that chocolate. What was I going to do about it? Penance. I got on the eliptical for 10 minutes while the kids were in the bath. Five minutes for each mini candy bar. After I got off the machine I felt empowered. Four bites of chocolate wasn't going to kill me, derail me, or turn me into a pumpkin. 

I got on the scale this morning and I'd lost another pound. So take that candy bars.

The biggest pisser of the whole thing was: I was so mad, I horked that chocolate down and I barely tasted it. Such a waste.

Tuesday, September 3, 2013

It's Official

This morning, I dropped 4ft off and the other two kids and I went to Kaiser so I could do my official weigh in. We got there at 8:30 and apparently they don't start working until 9. So the receptionist said she'd go ahead and register me but she couldn't make any promises as to when they'd see me. I figured if the kids got obnoxious they'd probably see me all the sooner so I agreed to wait and we had a seat in the lobby.

The kids were so good. They each got a clipboard and pen with paper and drew while we waited. In retrospect I should've taken a picture but hey it was early and I was just ecstatic that they were being so well-behaved. Fifteen minutes later they called me back and I weighed in. It's official per Kaiser's evil scale I have hit my goal weight. Now I'm just waiting to get a call from the Bariatric Coordinator to schedule my EKG appointment and surgery date. I'm nervous as well as excited. In other news: Grumpers is 34lbs. He had to jump on the scale too.

To celebrate I took the kids to McDonalds -- them for being so good, me for hitting my goal weight. I celebrated with a Diet Coke. I know, I know, I'm supposed to give up soda completely and for the most part I have been when I treat myself it's with one of those. Better that then like a cake, right? The kids split a cinnamon melt, a hashbrown, and some chocolate milk. So total win for everyone.