Tuesday, August 21, 2012


Welcome to my life on Horrible Movie Monday Nights.

The husband said, "Cue up the movie while I take a quick shower. It's called Rubber." Then he snickered and said, "You'll never guess what it's about in a million years." And I kid you not, he skipped with GLEE to the bathroom. That right there was my first warning.

So I look it up on Netflix and sure enough it's there. It's a 2010 movie and here is the synopsis: 

"In this inventive twist on low-rent revenge flicks, a car tire named Robert rolls through the desert Southwest, using its strange psychic powers to blow everything up. But when Robert spies a gorgeous woman, he decides to take a chance on love." (This was what I pulled off the Netflix website -- It said something about using it's strange psychic powers to blow up a rabbit on the television menu.)

Have you seen BASEketball? Well it's one of my husband's favorite movies. He especially loves the scene where Trey Parker is driving in his car and hitting all the animals. I swear he giggles like a girl throughout that entire montage. So, really it should come as no surprise to me that my husband found this gem of a movie that mentions animal combusting for Horrible Movie Monday Night. 

But wait... 

It gets better.

The movie opens up with a guy standing in the middle of the desert with his hands filled with binoculars with a bunch of chairs spread out haphazardly on this old paved road. Then a cop car comes down the road and goes out of its way to hit and knock down every single chair. Then a police officer gets out of the trunk holding a glass of water, walks over to the guy with binoculars, and says this:

"In the Steven Spielberg movie E.T., why is the alien brown? No reason. In Love Story, why do the two characters fall madly in love with each other? No reason. In Oliver Stone's JFK, why is the President suddenly assassinated by some stranger? No reason. In the excellent Chain Saw Massacre by Tobe Hooper, why don't we ever see the characters go to the bathroom or wash their hands like people do in real life? Absolutely no reason. Worse, in The Pianist by Polanski, how come this guy has to hide and live like a bum when he plays the piano so well? Once again the answer is, no reason. I could go on for hours with more examples. The list is endless. You probably never gave it a thought, but all great films, without exception, contain an important element of no reason. And you know why? Because life itself is filled with no reason. Why can't we see the air all around us? No reason. Why are we always thinking? No reason. Why do some people love sausages and other people hate sausages? No effing reason (he curses here for real but this is a family blog lets keep it clean). 


Ladies, gentlemen, the film you are about to see today is an homage to the "no reason" - that most powerful element of style." 

He then pours the glass out onto the ground, walks back to the police cruiser, and gets back in the trunk.

Yep, right there sets up the rest of the entire movie. Robert, the tire, does use it's incredible psychic ability to blow up a rabbit, a crow, a glass bottle, a can, and the heads off of several people who have done it wrong. 85 minutes of film just for the sheer purpose of NO REASON! The movie poster tagline says it all: "Are You TIRED of the Expected? And sadly it was not the worse movie to grace our Monday Nights.

And yes my husband giggled like a school girl when the rabbit and the crow exploded.

No comments: