Nutella equals the devil.

Ack!

Can you ever just have one tablespoon full?

Not me.

Should I have backed away from the jar and it's delicious promises?

Definitely.

At 100 calories a tablespoon and half of that is fat, I dipped a banana in it at snack time at least 4 tablespoons worth but who's counting? I slathered that banana in hazelnut chocolatey goodness and devoured it. Easily 400 calories.. easily.

I was doing so well today too. Ate my standard breakfast (haven't gotten bored of it yet) and then had a turkey sandwich, carrot sticks w/ non fat ranch dip, and the greatest chip creation on the planet -- The PoPchip. Totally healthy for you (as chips go) and taste really good too (which is a plus).

And then 3:30 *cue horror music here*

I was like Jaws. I couldn't be stopped. Where was Roy Scheider when you need him? (you know, the guy from the Jaws movies -- the one that actually kills the shark. My attempt at being witty. Moving on.)

Now before my new healthy outlook on weight loss, I would have called it a day after a blunder like that and just stuffed my face with whatever I wanted while making empty promises to myself that I would start "for real" this time the next day. But, today I didn't. For dinner I had two shrimp soft tacos and that was it. I also worked out, did 150 crunches, 20 push ups (have I mentioned how much I hate those freaking things), and a lot of stretching.

Sometimes into every lifestyle change a little Nutella must fall. Savor it and move on.

Drum Roll Please....

In the wake of the "Pizza Incident" I almost didn't hop on the scale this morning.

Almost.

But I couldn't resist it's siren call so I pulled it out from behind the fridge (I don't have the closet space to bury it behind the Christmas decorations anymore), blew off the lint bunnies, and prepared myself for the possibility that it'd read the same number as last week. I gingerly stepped on, thought light thoughts, tried to block the "Pizza Incident" out of my mind on the off chance I'd gain weight just thinking about it, and climbed on with my eyes closed.

Then for the moment of truth. I opened my eyes, looked down and WHOOPED!!! Even after the dreaded "Pizza Incident" I'd managed to lose 2.4 lbs. Hooray!!! I hopped off the scale, did a booty shake, and ran to my husband to brag about my accomplishment. He was pleased -- clearly thinks I'm crazy but he was pleased.

This morning I made Belgium waffles for my five-year-old. I'd originally planned on diving into a waffle and instead of swimming in the syrup, I would top it with fresh strawberries and light whipped cream. So I'd planned on being sorta good (do you know how many calories are in ONE Bisquick Belgium Waffle? It's ridiculous) but because I'd actually had positive results from the previous week I opted for my multi-grain english muffin with light peanut butter and a banana for breakfast instead.

I mean after all I'd just survived the "Pizza Incident" there was no need to have a "Waffle Incident" the next day.

Day 6 and counting...

I have one question: How is it harder to get back on the wagon than it was to get on it originally?

I have always found this to be the case -- no matter what fad diet I've tried (and believe me there have been a few) the first time around I do splendidly until the ultimate spectacular crash into old habits and then when I pull myself out of the chuckwagon it is nigh impossible to do as again. Now, I'm not doing some crazy fad diet this time around (having learned my lesson that they DO NOT WORK), I'm doing a "sensible eating I can live with and exercise at least 3 days a week" (to start) plan and yet I'm struggling more this time around than I did previously.

Case and point. I took the kids to see my mom and dad today. Mom had 2 free coupons to go to an all-you-can eat pizza joint that's kind of like a Chuck E. Cheese but not. How could I tell my mom, "No, Mom, Don't take 5 of us out to lunch for 13 dollars -- go somewhere that'll cost 50." So I figure, that's okay, there's a salad bar, I'll eat a bunch of salad and like one slice of pizza and do fine. After all, I was able to do it before.

That was before. Didn't happen that way today. I so completely and totally overate today!

I already have my justifications in place. A.) I was really hungry. I'd only had a 3/4 serving of Cream of Wheat for breakfast this morning at 7 with my five-year-old son we didn't go to lunch until 1:30. B.) When we got our food and sat down to eat, my two-month-old son decided to start screaming like someone was killing him and thus barring the way to me and food fulfillment happiness. So 45 minutes later when my mom had finished eating and took my crying infant so I could eat, I'd gone from really hungry to eat my young ravenous.

To put it in perspective: I had to have horked down my weight in pizza by the time I was done shoveling food into my mouth.

I'm not beating myself up too much about it. In the grand scheme of things it could've been worse. I could've eaten horribly all day (which I have been known to do in the past) and really, it's only one day. One day! I won't gain 50lbs and turn into Jabba the Hut. I might not have lost as much weight this week but really isn't the whole point of lifestyle change being able to live with it? And it's the guilt when you "fall off the wagon" that brings on the yo-yo starvation/binge eating downward spiral, so I say, "Hallelujah to the Pizza Incident" and move on, knowing it'll be a cold day in hell before I set foot into another buffet or at least the mid 70's.

Blowing the Dust Off of this Old Blog

I've had a busy year:

I moved to Utah.

Got pregnant.

Moved back to California.

Had the baby.

Gained 45lbs.

Fit into only two pairs of my pants (both pregnancy pants).

With all that being said, it's time to blow the dust off the scale and this blog and get back on the wagon! It's amazing how out of shape you get when you don't work at it everyday. Before I was doing 400+ crunches a day -- 200 in the morning and 200 at night -- and doing 100 push ups -- 50 in the morning and 50 at night (I hate push ups) and now I'm at a lowly 100 crunches and 10 push ups. However, the important thing is I'm back to doing them and plan on getting back to where I was before.

I'm a woman on a mission. In May, my husband and I are taking our two boys to Disneyland on a family vacation. There will be cameras there and photos taken and I'm assuming it'll be expected that I be in said photos. I want to be back in my "skinny" jeans by then which means I need to lose 3 pants sizes in two months (which is why I'm going to be the "crunching queen").

So, I'm again making the promise to exercise at least 30 minutes a day as well as do stretching, crunches, and the dreaded push ups. I promise to make healthier food choices but also to make it livable so I can stick with it. I promise to ignore the siren's call of fast food and drive past to eat at home something healthier than a Big Mac and Large Fries.

So far, so good. But then again it's only day 3.

My Fun Day

This weekend has been a real eye opener for me.

Nothing quite tests the dedication to a lifestyle change like spending a weekend baking hundreds of cookies. In the last three days I’ve baked five dozen shortbread cookies, four dozen oatmeal raisin cookies, four dozen chocolate chip cookies, and ten dozen sugar cookies. The old Average Jane would’ve grubbed hand over fist the cookies as I baked them -- the new and improved AJ didn’t binge at all.

But of course, I had to try them.

I invented a new almond shortbread recipe, so naturally I had to taste the finished product -- I had a half of cookie. Then I played around with my oatmeal raisin recipe and again I had to try it -- I had half a cookie --I don’t want to poison any of my friends and family. I’m proud to report I didn’t eat a half of a chocolate chip cookie as I didn’t mess with my recipe -- but that’s because I licked the bowl. I heart chocolate chip cookie dough -- so I had a tablespoon worth.

I figured it would be a supreme test of my willpower to just make them and not eat a lot of them. But even as I made all my favorites -- other than the two cookies I shared with three-feet-of-fun and the cookie dough -- I didn’t find myself lusting after them. The few bites I had were enough to slake my cravings. And I don’t feel guilty for the bites I had -- everything in moderation after all -- plus the very point for a lifestyle change is to be able to actually live it.

So even with all my cookie and dough nibbling this weekend, I still climbed on the scale this morning to see how I was doing. I lost a little over a pound! So I’d say I was doing pretty good.